all that she wants is another baby,

or in my case one at all.

meh, i'll be over it soon enough.

i hate these kinds of posts but, yikes, i love my boyfriend.



he is wonderful.

i have a job and have had one for three weeks now. it's nice, and my first paycheck will be nice too.

tomorrow will mark the one year point for me. one year since i tried to erase my own existence, off myself, if you will. tomorrow is also earth day which i find to be a fantastic coincidence. i told myself that i would give it a year, and if i still wasn't satisfied with life i would end mine once and for all. well life is good, even when life sucks it's still good. i'm stoked about that. i know that i have become a different person in the past 10 months and i am also pretty excited about that. i upgraded to chrissy 2.0, you should download it if you haven't already. it's a much more rad, less buggy version. we've taken the crazy out all together, by popular demand of course. we've decided to keep everything you loved, mostly the sarcasm and ridiculously good looks. check it out, i find it to be working just fine.

nothing feels right, but it doesn't feel wrong either.

i need a job.

arelint.

understanding what irish people say is the hardest part of my day, everyday. there is a butcher who makes passes at me on the regular but i am defenseless as i am not sure exactly what he is saying. the only reason i know he is interested is by the amount of grunts and "ups and downs" he gives me. sure they speak english, if you could even call it that, but i dare you to make more sense of it than i. i suppose i will get better with time, as most things do, but at this time in my stay i haven't a clue what "hareyagittionyalilcrackerya" means.

sleeping pills and wal-mart.

i do not advise taking 150mg of trazodone and attempting to function the next day without a full 8 hours of sleep. i also do not advise going to wal-mart in such a condition as the amount of meth heads you will encounter will more than likely make you have an anxiety attack. i would also tell you that showering at this time may become dangerous as you might try to wash your body with face wash or forget to use shaving cream and severely cut your legs. walking in such a state may in fact result in various falls that will leave you bloody and bashed. trying to eat a meal may also be a concern as it is very possible that you will repeatedly miss your mouth when trying to shovel in food. the very last thing that i will warn you about would be playing board games as your mind is not nearly as clear as it should be and it may appear that you suddenly acquired one extra chromosome.

*these are just some things that i found to be true, other bodies may respond differently and data is subject to change.

i'm glad i never believed in santa.

i would hate to lose sleep on dec. 24th because i am waiting for some make believe fat man to break into my house and not only fail to take something, but to leave me something because i was such a good little girl that year, when we all know little kids are shits and NO ONE can remain sticky sweet for 365 days.

people say i missed out on something growing up, that i missed out on the excitement of santa clause. i say, fuck you, i didn't miss out on shit, and i definitely didn't miss any sleep, you wide eyed fool.